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2.28.2015

treading can lead to diving

            source:tumblr:photojojo

Remember that viral blog post, Don’t Date a Girl who Travels? Here's more about that from another writer. Find the original here: http://bit.ly/1zqeV4P

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"I read this post and smiled, recognizing many of the values identified as ones that I have discovered in my own life of travels. It’s tone empowering, fierce, a life lived unconventionally, a women wisely choosing to follow her own will, not that of someone else’s.

Yet I couldn’t help questioning; Why not chase life right along with her? Why has an article celebrating a passionate woman ended with a proclamation to let her go? Why is confidence and daring curiosity in women so often paired with solitude?

So, here goes my response…

Do date a woman who travels.

She’s the girl sitting with a warm cup of coffee, hair pulled away from her face with a knotted bandana, feverishly attempting to turn her experiences into stories. She’s not trying to impress anyone as she is used to being anonymous. She pauses frequently looking up from her journal, gently biting her red painted nail, eyes slowly scrambling over her surroundings.

Date a girl who travels because she knows how to create adventure. She’s not the type who needs entertainment to smack her in the face. No matter where she is in the world she will suggest going out and discovering new things, renting bicycles even if the fields that lay ahead are familiar.

She is committed to broadening her view of the world, she yearns to ask better questions, knowing that answers rarely allude to the complexity of any situation.

She will never make you feel like what you can offer monetarily is of any importance. Her backpack is already full. The way she sees it expensive goods are no indication of love.

She’s no stranger at pushing herself to fly far beyond her comfort zone, in fact unlike most she thrives on it. She takes immense pleasure in seeing what she is capable of accomplishing and chasing after it, and guess what? She thinks ambition is sexy, she loves hearing what ridiculous goals you want to undertake because she believes you are capable.

She’s spent enough time on the road to fully appreciate the value of home. The simple pleasure of cranberry walnut goat cheese, the warm embrace of family, and conversation with long time friends devoid of finicky explanations and backstories.

Date a girl who travels and you will never worry about her ability to adapt. She can fall asleep anywhere, is used to undesirable bathrooms, days without makeup, hair that tastes of salt, and plans that often dart in new directions.

She values time spent in the present. Dilly dallying in the past happens once and a while but more often she will grab your hand and drag you out the door, because there are new market stand treats to be sampled and streets to wander down.

She’s opinionated and stubborn. Unafraid of the echo her voice makes in theoretical small spaces.

Date a girl who travels and communication will never be something you need to worry about. You’ve got a girl who is used to making sure that she is understood, and knows that sometimes patience with others is the only way to decipher what they are feeling. And when bumps in your relationship arise, which they will, she will want to work through it aware that things often unfold in seemingly imperfect ways.

She has learned that trust is at the core of happiness. Trusting herself and those around her has always been imperative, meaning she will have no problem trusting you.

She’s passionate. Get her talking and it will be hard to stop her, but that doesn’t mean she also doesn’t know how to listen. In fact, getting to know other inspiring folks is why she keeps at it, this traveling thing. She takes note of everyone who crosses her path valuing the unique ways in which each person shapes her journey.

She knows how to be alone, she won’t need you to be there with her every step of the way. In fact she will encourage you both to discover new places together and on your own accord. That doesn’t mean that she won’t lean on you often, curl up against your chest, and admit that she is lost. She’s not afraid to ask for help.

So date a girl who travels, one with her own dreams, one who is ambitious and courageous. Fall in love with her, challenge her, but also let her lead. Value her independence and promise to keep up."

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