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Long ago there was a penny for your thoughts. This was a very good deal. It was two cents for a nail, six for a bobbin, seven for a ball of twine, nine and a half (a half!), for a soda from the tall Mr. Ives, ten for a bucket, twelve for a small basket of fries, fourteen for a good bullfrog, fifteen for a bushel of anything but peaches (which were twenty-two), seventeen cents to call China for one second, eighteen to sing a song of sixpence due to inflation, twenty to make due on any given Sunday, twenty-one for a fruitcake, twenty-three for the Easter bunny, twenty-four to catch a tiger by its tail, twenty-five for a quarter, twenty-seven for a good life lesson, twenty-eight for a stern reprimand, thirty cents for a loaf and a fish, thirty-one for a chicken, thirty-three for a circus tent, thirty-five for a shave and a haircut, thirty-six for a sparkler and a slice of apple pie, thirty-eight for a yo-ho-ho and a bottle of rum, forty for your birthday, forty-one for a good pair of boots, forty-three for your brown hair to be blonde, forty-five for an honorable mention, forty-six to pick up sticks for the neighbors, forty-eight for a tank of gas, forty-nine for its weight in gold, fifty for two quarters, fifty-one for two loaves and a bigger fish, fifty-three for your sweetheart to spend on treats, fifty-four in the hand is fifty-four in the bush, fifty-six for the thanksgiving turkey, fifty-seven for a wooly shuffle, fifty-nine for a trip to the altar, sixty for those who know better, sixty-two for tar and feathers, sixty-three for an evening cruise around the harbor, sixty-four for a double box of a year-long supply of something. sixty-six for your discretion in the matter, sixty-eight for an icebox, sixty-nine for new double-hung windows, seventy for four dozen bagels, seventy-one for some pie in the sky, seventy-two for a basket case of anything (except a fruit basket which was too much for you), seventy-three for a champagne toast, seventy-five for three quarters, seventy-seven for a large quartz crystal, seventy-eight for a new song just for you, eighty to light the way, eighty-two cents for a bee in your bonnet, eighty-three for the correct time, eighty-five for a trip to the sea on a boat with me, eighty-six for dueling banjos, eighty-eight to get into the museum after hours, ninety to mail a crate to Maine, ninety-one to mill around aimlessly, ninety-three to share the spoils, ninety-four for a permit for anything, ninety-five for the band to play your song, ninety-six for a gown made of rabbit dreams and clouds, ninety-eight for a ride on the train, ninety-nine for a ship of fools, and one hundred for four quarters but you knew that.

I now hate this. May 25, 2013

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