real luxury

i've been packing and organizing this past week and this weekend i discovered that it was more important to me than anything to not bring certain things with me to where i'm going next. 

i can live without many things, nearly everything, but i can no longer live with what isn't true. the voice that i have become so used to over these decades, the one telling me i'm not capable or worthy or talented or beautiful, is a voice that i'm no longer able to believe. it is the greatest luxury in the world to no longer have to listen. i don't know what the path looks like but i realize it's made of a million tiny decisions to live as one who is worthy and strong and kind and loyal and brave and talented and wonderful. these truths are based on nothing. they are not because of what i do or how successful i am according to any standards but my own. they can't be because of anything transient for if i lost a measure of my own success then it wasn't really mine to begin with. to actually embody this has taken incredible will and some pretty fierce solitude and i am amazed and honored by my own strength and power. i am an amazing human being and the proof of this is in the fact that i am here at all. 

the opportunity to say out loud who we really are is here. to surround ourselves with friends and loves who support our truth is not easy but it can make the difference between a life lived in misery because we are reaffirming untrue beliefs about ourselves or a life lived in the total joy of being so deeply in love with our own existence that the love we are filled with brims over and spills everywhere, touching everyone we touch, feeding the earth, and encouraging its own expansion. i wish that for me and for you.