marriage, a handmade house, and christmas gift #1

 flora grubb, san francisco

each week until christmas i'm going to post at least one thing that costs under $50 and would make someone (not just me, silly!) pretty tickled to receive as a gift.

 i also found this in the dec/jan issue of dwell. these folks are in arizona and although i hold a great love for modern, i do have kind of a farm-in-the-woods fantasy, make that a need. i think i dream of hand building (with who exactly? how many people want to hand build the insides of their house?) my home in this same way. although i'd like more wood than these guys and perhaps just a scootch more furniture, i love the space. i LOVE the feeling of having space, of each thing being important, without too many things. a handmade house. here's some of their words...read more here.

with this blog i mostly need to write about and collect things of beauty and sustainability that i want to keep record of. this being the case, i've tried not to talk about my personal life too much here but there was an article in the NYTimes with all the usual statistical crap about marriage and it got me going a little. i know what it's like to not listen to your heart and to go ahead with something that, intuitively, is maybe not the most super healthy choice. i have an opinion as to where the mistake lies in our culture that sends the divorce rate ever skyrocketing. but i almost feel like i should keep that to myself. i wouldn't have listened to me two years ago. which is actually perfect because i wouldn't be able to understand that i am actually capable of being married if not for my failed first endeavor. i'm thankful for the evolution of everything. i'm thankful for the understanding that it is what i can give that is my greatest 'possession'. i love the idea of marriage but it sits best for me in the context of a larger family, mine, my spouse's, and friends who are family. i am still looking for my tribe. i don't think marriage makes any sense unless you are truly willing to come to the essence of who you are in this life. your spouse is only a mirror showing you where you lack faith, self-love and acceptance, patience...what's the point of entering into the contract if you're only planning to leave if the self-inquiry becomes too much for you? in my months of reflection i have learned what commitment is for me, how much i am capable of loving, and that true love might be mostly mutual willingness to explore together, to face what comes together (although a little swashbuckling and derring-do might be nice too). 

so this is for you to know, you who i don't know... i have no fear to lose myself in you and if i ask you for the truth of your heart, and i truly love you, i will accept your truth as it comes, just as you will accept mine. i can spend quite a lot of time not speaking but when speaking i will remind you how much i love you with the feeling under my words. communion is a mutual allowing of space and a lack of rejection of differences and if ever you want me to be someone other than who i am i will know it. be aware that, if i were to marry you, i will see god in you, and i will never get tired of serving you because it gives me strength. i want your family to be my family so that i can have another opportunity to learn how people give to and take care of each other, as my family will do for you. and if there never is another, there will be me, and that's enough.

an artist direction

  

maui

It was announced to me a little while ago that I would be moving in an artist direction. That sounds good. This is the jumping off place, here. Everything now can be done with disregard to any purpose except my own intuitive fulfillment. And if I can pick up a few collaborators, a few lovely and brilliant artisans, to be on my team along the way, what a good life this will be. I am so inspired by your creativity. I was watching Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi (soooo good, nearly tied for my favorite movie with The Thomas Crown Affair remake, sigh) (I know I've just admitted A LOT about myself here) for the hundredth time last night and at some point Shahrukh Khan's character says "there is no pain in true love". And I got to thinking that everything we do, if we know what true love is, is without problem. It all goes towards a distinct and delightful lack of problems. My mind will always want to pick things apart, weigh and judge, which is great for getting me across the street safely. But the quieter bits, beyond the mind, closer to the heart, say "there is no problem here" and that is the best part of myself that I can share. This way I also get to go where the wind takes me, not where I think I should be. That is so liberating.

 

recent work/rework

uHaul

Potential. Funny thing. I've just been involved in the first part of my greatest migration to date. Possibly this is the greatest migration of my life. Leaving one's house and town for another place, an unknown place, is one thing. But leaving behind your attachment to the life you were planning to have is something else entirely. There was a point last spring when something shifted so much within that the entire world began to respond differently to me. A giant hand lifted me into the river and every time I try for the shore I get a nudge back to the swiftest current. The river swept everything away, everything I thought I had or would have, my marriage, my home and my family. Everything I thought I knew has become an illuminator and the light is shining on the truth: that I am not in charge. At some point recently I became aware that I do not function well in the collective consciousness, that I have another purpose, perhaps just as a counter weight. I function from the heart and my greatest goal is still family, home, chickens in the yard, love, creativity, regardless of what looks like it has been taken away. I love and appreciate beautiful things and experiences, and I am willing to work to have them, but not at the expense of the delicate and sweet things within myself that will suffer if I get too tired. Being back here in Fairfield for a bit is like being in the wash. I'll be all clean and shiny when the spin cycle spits me out into Dharma. And speaking of Dharma, this is what I know right now, when they said follow your bliss, they were not lying. The bliss is the Dharma and whatever actions the bliss manifests itself in is the Work. The life's work, you know, until something changes! I have spent too long believing in things I was told I should believe, I should think, I should do, I should want. That's done now. I've vowed to get out of my own way. I might be really happy about where I end up. I have a few leads and I'll keep you posted.

 I have a long love affair with Ray LaMontagne. Mostly because he can make this.

DM/DM and studio gorm, different, good

let me share a couple of furniture designers that have made me very happy in my weekly discoveries. the photos above are courtesy of studio gorm in eugene, oregon. this is their wood peg design, which comes as a set in various different woods. i love the ability to put douglas fir legs with a walnut surface. it is very simple, good design and i think beautiful, even cute. i would want to sit on the bench and take off my Wellies after mucking about in the coop.

there is another studio you should check out, although i can't borrow photos from the website and since my scanner is all packed up for the move, i can't scan in the lovely magazine article either. still looking and if i find any i'll see if i can post them. anyhoo, check out the december issue of W or go to the DM/DM website to see some very beautiful work from doug mccollough. it is all very elegant and at the same time not precious, just refined furniture that your dog could lay on and the kids could play on but that you would still get a kick out of living with and loving even as it ages. the materials and shapes are stunning and, at least from the photos on the website, there's a hint of the danish but overall so new england to me, in a kind of vernacular that i haven't seen before, which i think is brilliant. they remind me of my childhood, completely on a feeling level, which is unusual for me to find in furniture. i think you should go buy a DM/DM piece for the foyer, or maybe for me for christmas.

objectified

 

This is a very nice film from 2009 with a philosophy to be considered, although I should say it has been more than considered but things have gone a bit awry anyway. Watch for the super elegant Parisian designers Ronan and Erwan Bouroullec speaking about the design of a chair, its aesthetic beauty and other fine things, and conclude that "So Australians who have drunk a lot of beer can plunk themselves down in it." Also, watch for Dieter Rams speaking about "the arbitrariness and thoughtlessness with which many things are produced and brought to market" while a montage of distinctly European Braun products is run through in a loving manner. After over half a century the philosophies of these aging modern designers are still poignant and still unadopted by the masses. I love a little gilt mixed in with my austerity but the gilt is decoration while the design is function. This film reinforces that idea for me. I find I'm continually trying to ferret out more permanence and slowness from the design world. This is the curator in me.  What do we gather and use that stands the test of time? Why do we replace things that still work? I do both of these things but as I get older I both acquire less and get rid of less. I'm very interested in why. What is the difference between the need to acquire something and the ability to savor the emotion that it produces in you but not need to have it? I love things, and human creativity astounds and delights me, but I think we are at the point where we need to curate our lives in a different way. The choice to move out of the collective consciousness seems to be inspiring many people to finally go for what they really want in their work and to also remove what is no longer working from their spaces. I want to help facilitate this phenomenon.